Frozen love

Immense cold covers the land
trees mime, frost fractals worn grass
turning to mud in midday thaw

Old things die hard, men animals
crunched to brittle bones and you
continue on your mindless task

of trying to find yourself.

You aren’t hidden at the turn of the road
or where we made love by summer lake
all those words we washed with bitter wine

mean nothing now as January claims our
frozen hearts.

For a second there we turned back time
refound the love so hard to find
smouldered with the green fire in your eyes

but then the wind of chance had turned the key
locked us out of ‘’you and me’’.

You won’t find yourself at the corner of the street
or even dancing on a foreign beach
you can’t quite finger what you’ve forgot

but I keep it here in my hidden heart
labelled clearly with all that we have lost
the day this winter came to claim us.

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Forever you

I woke early
to the dull ache of eternity
without you.

No tangled limbs or tousled head
no imprint of body in my bed
to say we ever existed.

I pulled myself into, military hue
pretended nothing mattered
over coffee and the breaking of bread;

but then I listened to one of our tunes
something snapped inside my head
into colours of you.

I woke early
to sharp call of summer bird,
it should have been ok

that we were so,
long ago
so far away.

I woke early
to a pepper cracked sky
the wind in the trees,

there was nothing
to say, no more games
to play:

I woke early
no reason to live or die
for I woke to eternity

without you.

Fragment

Men buy women
houses
cars
candelabra
perfume
dead animals bred in cold climates,
they stand on the outside looking in
try to tip toe through the maze.

I’m alone in my midnight shell
listening to the whisper of the sea
listening to angels voices
calling me down and beyond.
I’m a white tiger in an English village street
watching with curiosity
searching for luxuriant undergrowth
to stretch and snarl in.

I’m alone in my own skin
watching the brusque chopping of the waters,
watching.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

On the edge of infinity the great wastes of the galaxy stretch beyond our comprehension, if I wait that long on a clear night I might find you waiting.

Sunday

Light burns deadpan sky, yesterday’s sun evaporates.

Bells sing always for someone; you lie there almost dead
face sculpted from pain, returning : but I have no flowers.

I dream of sea worlds, saliva, messages. Today holds no hostages.

Every moment perfect to itself, we exist in the shadows of memory
along a corridor of recognition.

I am full of you, empty of you. When you leave I return to myself

a stranger .

Oyster girl

Skin raw from sea salt
light blazes merciless stings grooves
bones heavy: salt heavy moon heavy:
mind on overload whirling with the twist
of life’s congruence.

I wait to split wide like the oysters
shrunk with your acid
tart and bitter sweet,
the salt contracting muscle
till I drown in moon’s tide.

I keep waiting
morphing into sand
stemming pride :
I was for you a beautiful aside
you were for me the pivot of my life

I keep waiting
for the crash
to suck me under.

Whitstable January

Drinking whisky watching shingle
Old Neptune glitters, whisky helps
drive out whip wind cold
submerge dreams; avoid panic.

Dog whines and shifts
warmth draws me in
human company soothing
the sea a great grey hunger.

Morning sky
high wide mirror
soft grey suede smudged
beneath its rim, like kohl.

I get texts from Iceland
my life swings out
like a child’s balloon
free falling no control.

Boats stacked at rest
stark sea light opens my veins
to life like a new drug
rendering me invincible.

Past imperfect: present impossible.

1.

Cold seeps through bones
hoar frost crunches, the land sleeps
and so do we;

you lie there dreaming
of an Italian sea, a girl you loved
and what of me?

……………..

2.

Trees sentinel dead with winter
ice seeping in their veins
winter’s caught beneath my skin
heart cold and silent.

You returned in dead of winter
seeking warmth: something you understood
a familiar heart to stalk, without thought
I let you in.

……………

3.

Grass bright with ice
dog sniffs frozen wind
can’t find a scent to follow
nor can I.

……………

Last year’s lover

Your kisses just don’t taste the same
it’s funny how time fell between
your eyes are still supernal green
your smile enough to make birds sing
but your kisses just don’t taste the same
there’s something missing in between,

You body’s just as hard and swift
demanding more than everything
but your soul has drifted out to sea
lost in the fog of who we’d been.

I love you now in different .ways
like errant child or precious ring
the night’s we shared will always be
a part of me, huge part of me.

Your kisses just don’t taste the same
there’s too much time and too much grief
there’s something fallen in between
my green eyed boy
my one sweet joy
my treasured last year’s lover.

Daddy’s girl

Can I catch the light?

Striated pine needles, singing of pure voices
swathes of distant childhood
sand strewn on raw beaches.

Something missing in this bright blue gem of sea
your hand across the darkness
father, brother, lost for ever.

Yes I kissed you as you passed into
these foreign well known places
where I torch the tide that sweeps your ashes:

cold blue, clean blue
the innocence of time
quiet revolutions
grief curled in crimsom sunset
breath I can’t forget curling somatic sleep
this spirit striving to be human.

Missed moments spun in sticky web
pride, principal,
empty words that ripped the promise,
the life you lost.

Touch the sand for you
stroke my lover’s side for you
cry the vanished tears
silent scream searching always for the truth.

Clear cut obsession
masking the here and now with past mistakes,

till I forget again to breathe
and we coelesce.

Salamander

Silent salamander sliding
dry from stony bed
elongated liquid shadow
blackened image gliding
phantom flowing
in my head;
capturing your litheness
with a swift flick of my pen.

Evaporating sunset
killing dreams of how we’ve been
time becomes inherent,
seeping seamless in the sunken lane
silk screen faces blazing in the moment
sing the young child’s lullaby
replays constant in his heart
the hour before he dies.

I’m searching in the sacred temples
pledged to sleep, ratifying secrets
as the moon snake holds the world to ransom
slays it for a woman’s salty sighs.

Sun burns flesh
voracious in its quest for heat;
black blood pounds in ears
confined long years to duty
imbibes the salamander’s immobile sight
open before the heavy breath of you or I
trailed meaning where there is only being

the feeling of a slender shadow
skimming lightly through my mind.