I was not asking

for an easy ride,

 

like you I know

the road to Calvary

is paved with brine:

 

Now there’s sea salt

in my hair, my lungs

a spider’s web of

 

‘left behind’

 

they rattle like a vintage tram,

all slickness burnt away.

 

I broke the day

you turned aside;

 

pursued the distant summit

I can’t climb, turned just once

& winked that eye,

 

or was it shadow in the light?

The sun went in & darkness

filled the land,

 

you left us blind.

 

I was not hoping for

a helping hand;

 

though many have tried

the years fly by in

supersonic mode,

 

& turbulence has

taken toll

 

all futures set aside

for this soul road.

 

I will not promise

not to cry

 

my tears run through

a crack in memory

create a peaceful pool

 

where I can bathe secure,

this life, a stepping stone

 

to freedom.

 

 

 

This isn’t the moment

to lose all hope, although

the rain brings nightly sweats

 

& garden looms a jungle of

leaves too green.

 

This isn’t the moment

to waver, forget the wish,

run for death or divinity,

 

though dreams of mounting

seas & monster creatures lurk

they stalk me nightly.

 

Why has it been so long?

The road diverged,

its darkness mesmerising.

 

Nothing tames that sense

of being alone, except

those lovers’ moments

 

not meant to have or hold,

a disconnect of mind;

 

but over there

& out of sight

the primal spirit breathes

 

through me.