Calvary

 

I was not asking

for an easy ride,

 

like you I know

the road to Calvary

is paved with brine:

 

Now there’s sea salt

in my hair, my lungs

a spider’s web of

 

‘left behind’

 

they rattle like a vintage tram,

all slickness burnt away.

 

I broke the day

you turned aside;

 

pursued the distant summit

I can’t climb, turned just once

& winked that eye,

 

or was it shadow in the light?

The sun went in & darkness

filled the land,

 

you left us blind.

 

I was not hoping for

a helping hand;

 

though many have tried

the years fly by in

supersonic mode,

 

& turbulence has

taken toll

 

all futures set aside

for this soul road.

 

I will not promise

not to cry

 

my tears run through

a crack in memory

create a peaceful pool

 

where I can bathe secure,

this life, a stepping stone

 

to freedom.

 

Advertisements

Abandon

 

 

This isn’t the moment

to lose all hope, although

the rain brings nightly sweats

 

& garden looms a jungle of

leaves too green.

 

This isn’t the moment

to waver, forget the wish,

run for death or divinity,

 

though dreams of mounting

seas & monster creatures lurk

they stalk me nightly.

 

Why has it been so long?

The road diverged,

its darkness mesmerising.

 

Nothing tames that sense

of being alone, except

those lovers’ moments

 

not meant to have or hold,

a disconnect of mind;

 

but over there

& out of sight

the primal spirit breathes

 

through me.

 

 

 

Late

 

You visit

me in

 

dreams:

 

a sepia

landscape,

 

you always

walk away,

 

too busy

with life’s

 

minutiae.

 

I hesitate

to call

 

perhaps your

bread will fail

 

that supple

souffle fall.

 

You’re always

in my head,

 

I’ve tried

to love

 

again, it’s

not the same.

 

You come

to me

 

in dreams,

 

I touch

your face,

 

I’m smiling

in my sleep,

 

I even call

your name,

 

but it’s

 

too late

too dark

 

too far

away

 

for love,

to blossom.

 

 

 

Last night

they came

 

my horses.

 

Grey, with

bright white

 

manes;

 

the sea

a moonlit

 

mirror.

 

I walked

the sand

 

a gentle breeze,

my hand entwined

 

in lion’s mane.

 

Last night

the shadows

 

set me free,

& I,

 

a Circe

come again

 

wove spells

from moss &

 

called the names

of creatures

 

great & small.

 

This morning’s

sun is hot

 

with life,

 

it blazes on

my lemon

 

tree,

 

but I prefer

the shaded

 

night

 

to walk in

silence

 

spirit led

 

while other’s

dream.

 

Paradise medley

 

1

Sky, high, bright:

like new paint

 

monsoon rushes

storm drain,

 

you, were in

my dream, again;

 

whispering

to spirits.

 

The house

was huge

 

floating corridor

hidden yards

 

the paysage

immense,

 

mountains sheer

& the dogs

 

ran free.

 

Me, I’ve

travelled

 

end to end

of this big

 

bright world

where the sun

 

stretches the

horizon.

 

*

 

2

 

Early morning

rain, washes

 

cloud cover;

 

hummingbird flits

while traffic jam

 

builds,

 

on the coast road

&  my tan, cools.

 

Blackbirds squabble

over fallen fruit

 

while the dark hawk

scoops its morning

 

prey.

 

*

 

3

 

It’s 6am

in paradise

 

sky streaked

gold,

 

& I

returned from dream

march the empty beach.

 

Everywhere the day

hangs, potent, waiting.

 

There are angels

at the gates

 

outspread wings

open,

 

to welcome.

 

 

 

 

Tropical turbulence

 

Midnight,

& monsoon,

 

thunders on

tin roof

 

rides the gullies,

dark saturation:

 

mango tree

chatters

 

fruit rattles

like earrings

 

monkey silent

tail aloft.

 

Overhead fan

whirrs,

 

regurgitating

memories

 

best forgotten.

 

3am,  neighbours

party & the

 

coast road

 

growls like

distant thunder

 

I vacate

sleep.

 

 

 

Frangipani

 

Soul dips

to horizon

 

beneath

feet current

 

pulses aqua:

 

angel fish

graze skin

 

like striped

ghosts;

 

surf hard

over reef

 

black dots

of humanity

 

pinned;

 

& the waves

keep coming

 

lulling, lulling,

infinity’s curse.

 

Shush shush

shuffle,

 

ocean’s

soporific night

 

tumble:

 

you murmur,

bed strewn

 

with white

frangipani,

 

delicate,

sacred.

Stormy Weather

 

Azure sky

no cloud

 

teacup horizon.

 

Lifeguard flags

tourists crisp into

 

pork  crackling.

 

In the shallows

dark shark

 

circles

 

gulps

iridescent

 

fish.

 

Time unfurls;

sandpaper,

 

possibility.

 

Later, rain:

drumming

 

sheets of it.

 

Palms tremble

& the birds

 

flume: ruffled.

 

Traffic slushes,

goose pimples

 

climb on

sunburnt skin

 

fruit tumbles,

unripe mango,

 

buttered orange

bursts

 

rose doves

scavenge:

 

monkey slinks

 

the line

of fence,

 

tail raised

talisman,

 

skimming.

 

 

Fever

 

Sky grumbles

palms febrile

 

shudder,

 

shiver storm’s

fever.

 

I’ve washed up

on the cliff

 

of you:

 

body curves

dark yearnings.

 

You’re in love

with the love

 

of it;

 

agitated

like the wind

 

your eyes

seek salvation.

 

We ebb & flow

caught in the

 

cross current;

 

I’m unwilling

to drown,

 

but you

stretch out

 

on the wave’s

crest

 

strike out

for the deep

 

dark depths

 

content to

curl up

 

in the furl

of unseen

 

siren’s locket.

 

February storms Barbados

 

 

Sea is rough

all spinning foam

 

fierce undertow

 

splash of silver,

frigate birds

 

glide like

ancient

 

tetradactyl.

 

All night

it rains

 

as if,

 

the ocean

falls

 

from the sky;

palms clamour

 

beach lost

in spume.

 

High tide

waves sing

 

untranslated

songs of

 

longing.

 

You crave

love;

 

‘’You look so lovely’’

 

I’m never that!

 

Human company

ebbs & flows

 

I toss

my head,

 

washed up

on the shore

 

of other’s

expectation.