Baggage

Why am Iso scared,so scared,anemone who curlsher curlswhen touched;and why do you thinkyou know my face,this face that’s purredbeneath your handthat’s tried to hide it’s terrorat your childhood tales.Why am I so afraidof darkened lanesbumbling boys in city trainswho tell me I am cool.Why do I double lock my doorto keep you outwhen all you’ve shown is tender careopened wide your ragged scarsI know you trusted I was there ,but I was not .Why is the night so cold,so cold with painted memoriesmy small child’s fearstrapped inside this finite skin;and love it seems so old,so out of touch,the same regurgitated wordstripped from the wrong lips.If I shut my eyesit’s too absurdwrong body in right bed.I’ve heard it all beforehow can you meanthat four leafed wordthat never says enough .And who am I ?A player in your gamean intricate confusionof the baggage that you keep?Just hang a halo in my hairyou hope I’ll solve your riddles ;but they’re not mineand this fantasyyou make of mehas blown away,walks city streetsseeks temples of the mind,where innocence sleepsand darkness always harbours lightpast and future fade in flamesthat place where I’m reborn again .No silent shaper of your dreamsor jaded wordsmith of lost themesnor hybrid mother or dark hagwandering Goddess to be saved ,but a woman proud to bear her name ,alliterate her peace ,and live .