Neti neti neti

(A Tibetan phrase used in meditation which means ‘’not I’’. )

I am not this, nor this, nor that

or ever have been.

I look in mirror & I see

my dark brother staring back at me

beckoning with claw like hand

to follow where I need to go

to blend the secrets

of your soul; with mine.

Forget this awkwardness

this outward crust of language

which has us turning circles

 just to comprehend

exactly what we’re feeling.

I drop your hand

I let you go

for the first time in my life

this is what I believe.

Although the tears come stronger now

I’m not caught up in your leaving.

Push me gently to the door

turn around I’ve vanished.

As you briskly walk away

 the human tide engulfs you

I was just another hand that

touched you through the night

I'm not this, nor this, nor that:

or ever have been.

The glass has shattered

yet deep inside the frame holds strong

the dark brother looks my way

around his cloak of swirling blue

a falcon cries his crazy song.

I break the mirror

turn away

& with a mind that knows

there is no hope

remind you with an aching smile:

I am not this, nor this, nor that,

or ever will be.

Recreate your fantasies

know the space reserved for me

is burning with its pure white flame

endlessly.